OK, this broke up over my break up sh-t has to stop. It is killin’ me. This morning I was running my 2nd mile of 4 and I was just overwelmed by thoughts. I had this raging desire to call her right that second. It made my stomach turn and I was almost forced to stop and throw-up. I didn’t thank god and was able to finish the run at a good hard pace. Surprisingly enough i ran the 2nd set of two miles at the fastest pace I have ran in a while. I’m gonna start pushing my body harder. I have to focus on something. I might try to jump overseas and do what I do. At least it will get me away from this place and these damn thoughts. Tonight hasn’t been too terribly upsetting. I’ve played around here waiting for bedtime to come around. I need a wife / friend.
One more day down
Another step in the right direction today. Nikki has been removed from all online accounts and my phone. I remember all of them, but it’s just the gesture that matters. She was pretty cold with me last night and the more I think about it, the madder I get on the subject. I continue to think of her often (every second), but it’s getting better. I am moving forward.
On an entirely seperate note, one of my many supervisors has signed me up to ride my bicycle 210 miles in two days sometime in early September. It’s the wounded warrior ride in VA. It’s supposed to benefit the many wounded Servicemembers out there. Now don’t get me wrong I want to do it. However I haven’t rode one mile on my bike since early March and training for something this big takes a second. I plan on getting out some this week. I may ride 15 or 20 miles a day, but that’s a long way from 105 miles a day, two days in a row. I’m sure I will be mentionig this some more as I get my little butt in shape.
