1 step forward, 50 back

Today was a nice day. I had breakfast with a friend. I had lunch with another. I went to a movie with yet another. I toured the mall, best buy, and rooms to go (didn’t buy anything). However, today I felt worse then I have felt in a long time on the inside. Thoughts of Nikki make me physically sick. My stomach turns and grumbles with each thought. I am scared that I may see her in passing or even worse, with someone new. This has to be the longest recovery I have ever had. Things have improved, but damn….

On a better note, this weekend was made up of things that I enjoy doing. I went to the beach for a little while yesterday. I am getting out of the house, but I don’t know how much good it’s doing!! HELP, HELP, HELP!

Good news

Although Nikki is still ruining most of my days and nights, I have to report that I do feel better. I don’t feel good, but better then bad. The images of her in my head are becoming more spaced out. Hopefully another 2 or 3 years and I’ll be good as new….. ha.

I’m getting ready to head into the office in a few minutes. I have allowed my men to sleep in a little so they could go see a movie at midnight last night. Sometimes I’m way to giving… I lie, I rarely give. Yesterday I told my boss that I officially want a new job at a new station. There is nothing either of us can do about it until about 2 months from now when the promotion board results are released( fingers crossed!!) Looking for Seattle to be my next home. Maybe move in the beginning of next year. There are other places available though, we’ll see. I must run for now. I want t get to the office before my children so I can actually get something done!