So, i have dated a wide variety of women during the past few years that have encompassed my entire adult life. I have dated single, married, divorced, widowed and just about any other combination of those. I have dated white, black, tan, yellow and just about any color combination two humans can produce. I have dated wealthy, very wealthy, dirt poor and just your plain ol’ average middle class. You could say I have dated end to end across the broad spectrum of women. Few were even close to what I saw myself needing. Some were exactly what I did not want or need. But they wanted me and at the time it sounded much better then being lonely. As look back on my life, however, i feel like I have been alone a lot more then not. Even with the literally 100s of women i have dated, i still feel and have felt very alone. I have been advised by the successful and the broken-hearted and niether have provided me with any insight I didn’t already know. I have a lot more on my mind concerning this, but just don’t know how to display it. For now I will call it a night.
Overdue
It has been a few moments since my last post. Life is impoving but I am not there yet. I am still pretty much down in the dumps over “the break-up” that happened 5 weeks ago. Work has been busy, yet very unfulfilling. I have been to the beach and relaxed a few times during the past few weekends and that will most likely be the one thing I do outside of my house tomorrow. I really enjoy relaxing on the beach.
Nikki has continued to cause pain and suffering in my world. She hasn’t ben bothering (calling or anything), I just cannot seem to remove her from my heart and mind. I have been hanging out with a couple of my girl-friends lately. They have been trying to pull me up from this and they are doing a fair job. I’m a hard nut to crack. They ofcourse dislike the thought of nikki and would probably prefer that she die in some horible motor vehicle crash thi evening. On the other hand, here I stand wanting nothing more then to have her back, but at the same time pretty sure I wouldn’t take her back if she tried. Everywhere I go I fear seeing her. Moved on and happy with someone else… I re-opened my yahoo personals page and no sooner then I had done so she checked up on me there. Even in her profile it mentions moving on. ARGH!!!
Work has sucked more then it ever has lately. I have let my bosses know tat I would like to move on to another assignment after the promotion board results are released sometime later next month. Whether i get promoted or not I imagine it will be at least 6 months before I get anywhere new. And that ofcourse is by the fastest means possible.
Well, I am going to lay around the house for the rest of the evening. I worked half the day away today at the office. Now I am tired, bored and lazy. Three things that make up the most terrible combination. Nite—K
Good news
Although Nikki is still ruining most of my days and nights, I have to report that I do feel better. I don’t feel good, but better then bad. The images of her in my head are becoming more spaced out. Hopefully another 2 or 3 years and I’ll be good as new….. ha.
I’m getting ready to head into the office in a few minutes. I have allowed my men to sleep in a little so they could go see a movie at midnight last night. Sometimes I’m way to giving… I lie, I rarely give. Yesterday I told my boss that I officially want a new job at a new station. There is nothing either of us can do about it until about 2 months from now when the promotion board results are released( fingers crossed!!) Looking for Seattle to be my next home. Maybe move in the beginning of next year. There are other places available though, we’ll see. I must run for now. I want t get to the office before my children so I can actually get something done!
