Anxiety Continues

20 Jun

I am learning more and more about my anxiety everyday. Unfortunately my learning sometimes just diversifies my anxiety even further. The more I learn, the more complex my anxiety becomes. I don’t suffer from my normal run of the mill anxiety any more. Now I have developed a phobia. And that phobia prevents the medicine from being 100% or even 85% effective.

Fear of anxiety is my new source of trouble. Fear of anxiety is far worse then plain ol’ anxiety itself. Fear of anxiety creates the strongest anxiety of all. Fear……

I wish I would’ve sought out help long before it became a fear… Now I suffer, but it was my decision to try and tough it out. Now I must pay for that decision.

I closed my eyes the other day, one of the few times I ever do while I am suffering from anxiety, and a little sweet voice started filling my imagination with travels to distant beaches. I was vey, very surprised by this. Her and her voice became, at that very moment, precisely what I need. I am thankful that she doesnt mind helping me down this road.

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